The Art of Solitude

One of the most important things you’ll probably ever learn is how to be okay with your own company. Seriously, it’s underrated. People will come into your life—some will care, some will listen, and yeah, some will really try to be there for you. But the truth is, no one can walk through every dark corner with you. Their presence might help for a bit, their words might ease the sting, but they can’t fully take the pain away. Even love, as beautiful as it is, sometimes leaves behind its own kind of ache.

The ability to be alone is the ability to love! You may ask how. Yes, I know it may sound strange, but it is not, it is an existential truth. Only those who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of diving into the deepest parts of another person, without trying to possess them, without depending on them, without reducing them to a thing, and without becoming attached or addicted to their presence. They allow the other absolute freedom because they know that if the other leaves, they will remain just as happy as they are now. The other cannot take away their happiness because they are not the ones who give it. For this reason and other reasons, of course, I see that the truly civilized person is someone who doesn’t feel lonely even when he is alone. And you, my dear reader, you’ve got to have your own inner world, something deep inside you to lean on, both emotionally and intellectually. It’s about feeling completely whole and independent, even while living among others.

It could be simple if you think for a moment that people don’t give us anything we can’t find within ourselves. And maybe most of all, it’s creating your own sense of contentment without dimming the light of others, without relying on those who give, and without begging for attention from the ones just passing through. I know that solitude isn’t for everyone, and it asks for a kind of strength that many spend their whole lives avoiding. But when you’re alone, there’s no one to distract you from the truths you’ve been running from. It forces you to sit with your own mind, to listen really listen to what’s going on inside. And that can be overwhelming. You will have your inner world. Memories come flooding back like scenes in a movie, thoughts grow louder, and emotions you’ve buried start to surface. For this, my dear, I want you to just focus on one thing, which is to learn to find comfort in your own company, if being alone no longer feels like a punishment but a privilege, then you’ve reached something rare. A quiet milestone. A place of deep acceptance. Where you’ve made peace with every goodbye, forgiven your own missteps, and no longer crave noise just to feel okay. That’s when solitude stops feeling like a void and starts feeling like home.

So here's the thing: should you really avoid people and just stick to being on your own? Honestly, the short answer is no, you don’t need to. But the deeper truth is, it’s not even really possible to avoid people completely. What actually matters is learning how to be okay on your own, even when you’re surrounded by others. You could have a bunch of friends, coworkers, even family around all the time, and still feel disconnected if you haven’t built that inner peace with yourself. Being alone doesn’t always mean physical solitude—it means being able to sit with your thoughts, be at ease with who you are, and not feel lost without constant interaction. It’s more about emotional independence than isolation. So no, you don’t need to disappear from the world or ghost everyone. But you do need to be someone who doesn’t crumble when the noise fades or when people aren’t available. Real growth happens when you can enjoy company, but not depend on it to feel whole. Get to the level where you could spend an entire day alone and not feel lonely at all. Being by yourself isn’t the problem; it can actually be peaceful, even comforting. What really drains you, what truly makes you feel alone, is being surrounded by people who don’t understand you, in places that don’t reflect anything about who you are. And believe me when I tell you that loneliness isn’t about being alone; it’s about being in the wrong energy. It’s when you're surrounded, but unseen. Spoken to, but not really heard. Present in the room, but emotionally miles away. True solitude brings calm. But being in a space where you can’t be yourself, where you have to hide parts of who you are just to belong—that’s the real loneliness.

That’s why, at the end of the day, it’s on you. You’re the one who has to hold yourself together when everything feels like it’s falling apart. You’re the one who has to sit with your own pain, unpack it, breathe through it, and find meaning in it. You’re the one who needs to look at your scars and say, “Yeah, that hurt—but I’m still here.” And by time, something changes. Being alone doesn’t feel like a punishment anymore. It becomes a kind of quiet strength. It becomes normal for the first time. This is a return to who you really are. You realize you’re not lonely, you’re just reconnecting with yourself. And honestly? There’s something powerful in that.

How many souls walk alone yet never feel lonely,

And how many sit among crowds yet remain unseen

For loneliness is a matter of the heart, not the body.

My dear, what I wanted to say today is you can’t really call yourself fully human until you’ve turned inward, until you’ve taken the time to actually get to know yourself, work on yourself, clean up the mess inside, and lift yourself higher. One of the most powerful and meaningful things you’ll ever do is take care of your soul. Not in a superficial, feel-good way, but in a real, deep way—diving into your inner world, facing the uncomfortable parts, sitting with your silence, and slowly pulling out the pieces that help you make sense of your life, your pain, your purpose.

Believe me, we are living in a time where people care about everything that’s trending, who’s saying what, chasing noise and novelty, but barely pause to care about themselves. But one thing will always matter—you. Your inner world. Your discipline, your clarity, your intentions. Before trying to fix the world or criticize others, focus on fixing what’s inside you. Strengthen your character. Expand your mind. Feed your spirit. Build your patience. Learn. Reflect. Grow. Clean your heart before judging someone else's. Because of most of the chaos we see out there? It starts with what’s broken in here—inside people’s hearts. So if you want change, be the change. Start with yourself. Who you become matters. Your faith, your choices, your honesty, your growth—they aren’t just abstract ideas. They’re survival. They’re direction. They’re what keep you grounded in a world that’s constantly trying to pull you away from your center.

Let these words be a nudge—a reminder. But they’ll only land if you’re actually ready. Ready to stop running from yourself. Ready to sit down, face the truth, and rise from it.

And remember this, just being around people won’t make you feel less lonely. You can be in a crowded room, surrounded by friends or family, and still feel completely alone. Because the real loneliness? It’s not about who’s around you. It’s about what’s going on inside you. That emptiness you feel doesn’t come from a lack of company, it comes from a disconnect with yourself. If you haven’t made peace with your own thoughts, if you haven’t faced what’s hurting or missing within, no amount of noise or attention will fill that gap. People might distract you from it for a while, but they can’t erase it. That’s why the only way out of real loneliness is inward by reconnecting with yourself, understanding your heart, and finding wholeness on your own terms. Because once you feel at home within yourself, you’ll stop looking for others to complete what was never theirs to fix. So honestly, it’s better to focus on yourself, do your thing, and not waste your energy worrying about what people think or say. There’s nothing nobler than living at peace with yourself and being aware of your flaws, confessing your weaknesses, and understanding how they shape your choices and affect your mood way more than blaming fate or pointing fingers at how messed up people can be.